This is a wonderful, funny piece, written in high biblical style, but in fact spoken by a modern, harried father.
It is a great example of how to write humor, subvert expectations and trade on the language in which your life has been (perhaps unknowingly) steeped.
If you can, get hold of the Selected Shorts version read by the late, lamented Isaiah Sheffer.
(The full title of the piece is: “Laws Concerning Food and Drink; Household Principles; Lamentations of the Father”)