The Prompt
Rewrite a story that you wrote over the past few weeks
Things To Consider
If you’ve done the “Same Story, Different Perspective” prompt, this will feel similar, but this time I’m inviting you take a story that you wrote and tell it all over again in a completely new way.
You can re read the story and decide to tell the story from the perspective of a different character, but you could also choose to try and tell it in a completely different format.
If you told a narrative story, you could see what happens if you rewrite it as a list story. If you told it as a Hermit Crab, could you write it again today as a traditional, narrative story?
This prompt makes it easier for you o write because you don’t have to come up with a whole new plot and cast of characters.
The challenge today is to make remake it in a new way.
For an interesting twist on this experience: rewrite a story you wrote recently without rereading it first.
After you write this draft, compare the two and see what they have in common and what was missing/added to each version. (Hat tip to Stuart Horwitz for this idea)
Leave a comment and let us know how it went!
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Prefer paper crafts? Here’s the cut & paste version
Today’s ‘rewrite’ was the story that I wrote from the perspective of a horse. This time the human gets her shot…
My very first story this StADa May, the five-sentence story, was told from the perspective of a couple who loved their dilapidated stone farmhouse and, when the bank threatened to foreclose because they weren’t maintaining the property, bought the bank.
I rewrote it from the perspective of the loan officer. It turns out (I hadn’t known this until today) that the couple were Black, and the small town bank didn’t want to let them into the community. The bank couldn’t risk being overtly racist, but they were just looking for an opportunity to foreclose.
The only thing the two stories have in common is the farmhouse, which improves with age. It took me a long time to find the angle, but once I did the story [re]wrote itself. All in all, the exercise made me rethink imagination.
What a great story you made up, and what a great explanation of how things came together gradually for you, Walter. Inspiring. Thanks for sharing the process.
Great example of how thinking and thinking and thinking some more can come up with something really satisfying. Well done!
I don’t remember who it was, but at some point I read an interview in which a well-known author said he never even looks at the first draft after he finishes it. He said anything that was important in it will be something he remembers while writing the second draft and the rest can be lost. Doing this exercise certainly helped me see what he was talking about.
Anyway… I actually did the assignment twice because when I finished the first attempt, I felt like I hadn’t really followed the prompt. Since I liked the prompt, I tried again.
Attempt One was really just a quick scene explaining why the coded letter from that assignment was written and why the writer thought the recipient would realize there was an encoded message. I wrote it in first person present, which I don’t use much anymore even though I used to be fond of it. It wasn’t bad, but there wasn’t much “compare it to the old thing” I could meaningfully do.
So I took a close third person story about two people flirting at a concert (my response to the someone enters a place, someone gets a shift in perspective, someone leaves the place prompt) and rewrote it as a very chatty, talking directly to the reader first person from the other character’s POV. I couldn’t remember the name of the cousin she had with her, so I gave him a family nickname that he wouldn’t have appreciated being introduced by and went with, “I introduced him with his real name, of course. No need to court death by introducing him as The Sigh. Even if the sigh he would have met that with would have been one for the ages.” The new piece never calls him anything other than The Sigh. The name alone gave him WAY more personality than he had in the original.
In addition to changing how I referred to the cousin, I realized when I reread the original that I had skipped a lot of the dialogue. If I were to revise the first story now, I’m pretty sure I’d cut most of those lines, because the flow is punchier and more direct without them. Interestingly, I don’t feel confident I would have flagged these segments of unneeded texts in normal revision. There may be something to the idea rewriting things without consulting the previous draft, particularly if there’s something wrong with the pacing and you can’t pinpoint what.
Hi Julie! I have posted a story called “Unearthed” to Substack with a rewritten version from today, 5/22/24. An interesting assignment to challenge the “gray matter.” Should help improve my writing. Thanks for the opportunity.
You’re more than welcome!
Old Story: (see the new story below in new POV)
Arlene panicked when she realized she had sent the text to her boss, rather than to her boyfriend. She tried to think if she could possibly unsend the text, but she wasn’t very smart when it came to smart phones and didn’t know if it was possible to unsend or not.
Her boss texted her back almost immediately. Her face turned ashen, pale, almost colorness if that is possible in her embarrassment. She was terrified to open the text.
She had mistakenly sent her boss the text meant for her boyfriend David. The text contained a nude picture of her taken in a moment when she wasn’t thinking clearly. He had always begged her to send him nude pictures in return for some of him. She had always refused and didn’t think it was appropriate. Now in her haste at his begging for one she had mistakenly sent the text including the nude picture to her boss. She could only imagine what he was thinking right now and here was a text from him that she was terrified to open.
Arlene needed her job and she was almost positive her boss was firing her. After all he was married and had never even hinted that he might be interested in her and she could only imagine what he must be thinking right now.
She moved to open the text and get it over with. She could hardly believe what she was reading. Mr. Connelly had written back just a quick message. “Just say when, baby!”
He wasn’t firing her, but he obviously expected her to sleep with him. Now what?
NEW STORY:
Aaron Connelly heard the beep on his cell phone signaling a new text. He wasn’t expecting a text from his employee, Arlene. This was out of character for her. She just did her work and kept to herself.
He opened the text and stared in surprise. She had sent him a nude picture of herself. He felt himself getting excited and while he was surprised to see the picture, he was interested. His wife didn’t have to know about it. She was busy with her own life.
He quickly texted her back, “Just say when, baby!” and waited for her response with anticipation.
https://tessadeanauthor.wordpress.com/2024/05/22/rewrite-yourown-story-storyaday-2024-day-22/
Eeek!
Tessa, what a fun idea! Please let us know what happens.
I hadn’t really thought about going further with the story, although I might go through my prompts and see if I can create one of my serial prompts, which consists of many prompts to create a larger story. I will think about it.
I rewrote May 13 – i didn’t like the story that day. I didn’t like what I wrote today either until I started to enter it into the computer. I handwrite my first drafts and then when putting into the computer that is my first revision. As I typed up this story, I made a lot of little changes. I think there is actually something here.
OK – Needed to do some catch-up, so here is something that is a real ‘One Draft’ entry for the day – Chapter 21 of the long-running project. I’ve written this and published it on the website today.
https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2024/05/day-22-chapter-21.html
Would’ve been better if I did Chapter 21 on the 21st of May I imagine.
Note I do have a five-story project in mind for this month and with only ten days to go, I better hurry up.
Part 1 of the five-part was done ‘Day 15 – World Building’
https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2024/05/day-15-world-building.html
Earlier Elements of the book that Chapter 21 comes from have appeared in previous Story-a-day events, here for completeness if anyone is interested.
Backstory/depth elements
– https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2017/05/day-18-dalgroth.html
– https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2018/05/day-9-nalfevimeel.html
Chapter 1 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2017/11/dwarvelf-coming-soon-somewhere.html
Chapter 2 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2018/05/day-18-chapter-2.html
Chapter 3 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2018/05/day-25-chapter-3.html
Chapter 4 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2019/05/day-8-chapter-4-rogue.html
Chapter 5 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2019/05/day-16-dwarvelf-chapter-5-falconbred.html
Chapter 6 – https://afstoryaday.blogspot.com/2019/07/dwarvelf-chapter-6-four-ways.html
Doing this exercise of collating the above, highlights my attempts at Storyaday from 2017 to 2022 Inclusive, I missed 2023 and here I am again this year. With 9 days to go.
This is great!
I took day 19’s story(used a random number generator to pick) and rewrote the story told by texts in a regular narrative. I did still include some of the texts, so I did end up looking back to make sure I got them right, but I started it without reading the original story. 727 words
It took all my courage last night to pull my front door open and let the thief inside my house who had woken me up by monkeying with my front doorknob. No sooner had he stepped toward me than I had shot him square between the eyes, sending him flailing to the ground. I fired another shot to make sure he was dead. He seemed to be. You probably understand why I had to let him set foot in my house before I shot him. Even here in Arizona, if a criminal has tried but hasn’t made it quite inside your house, and you shoot him, some idiot will try to say you ended his life before he got the chance to rehabilitate himself.
The day had begun no differently than the days preceeding it this month. I’d been watching most of my neighbors load things into their RV’S, then driving away from the desert to cool mountain states where they have their summer homes. It will be quiet here until they return in October when it cools off here. Since the majority of the people leave when it gets hot, most of the homes are empty for several months. I like the quietude but I also feel somewhat vulnerable.
Outside my front window I watched my elderly neighbor across the street finish packing her RV, then drive off toward the San Diego freeway where she’d navigate to Washington State. I envied her the cool days she would soon enjoy, but not the long drive there. She had brought over her potted plants for me to water for her for the next four months while she was gone. Since I only have the one house here in the desert, I stay indoors nearly all the time in the summer with the A/C on. I don’t own anything valuable or keep much cash around. Being old, I am often in pain. I have meds for that. Doctors will not refill your prescription if you tell them you let someone steal your pills. I have a message for anyone who wants to steal from this old lady. I may not have much, but what I have I want to keep. Especially my meds. Is pissing me off worth your life?
* I’ve tackled two things here: 1) I’ve rewritten a third person story to a first person story. 2) I rewrote the story from memory.
*P.S. I don’t actually take meds. It is a secret whether I own a gun or not. Nobody broke into my fortress. There are still some people here. However, I did use some things from my current life as a basis for the story.
Dear Valerie,
Your PS reminded me of a day when I had a class with the students of Class-XII on “Story Writing”. Towards the end of the lesson, after I’d asked them to write a story on a given topic, I found a student fiddling with his pen. On enquiry, he told me that he could only write ‘a real story’. It took a lot of persuading to make him understand that a story doesn’t need to be based on real incidents always. Imagination plays an important part too. I had the same feeling while reading your additional information. No offence meant. I have looked upon you as a friend from the day you started providing honest feedback on my stories.
To come back to yours, I enjoyed going through your story. The tone, the tempo, the character of the narrator are all first class. One also gets to have a first hand experience about Arizona from your stories.Keep it up.
Take care. Stay happy and keep writing more and more. God bless.
Rathin! Thank you so much! I especially like that you feel you get an Arizona experience from my stories. I think I’ll try writing some Arizona stories more often.
Great idea, Valerie. Keep experimenting and impacting lives. Best wishes.
Valerie, I thought this was great.
Does leave me wondering if you have a gun?
Hi Andrew, I’m very glad you found it readable and even great. I don’t have a gun as of yet but I keep saying I’m going to buy one. (I moved here from California a year ago). EVERYONE has one here. We are an hour from the Mexican border. It seems safe here but you never know. Thanks for the reminder to buy a gun. Maybe you live somewhere people don’t have guns and that’s why you asked. I’m chicken though and just want a 22 with a scope even though I’ve been advised that’s not enough. That might be a good idea for a story.
Another 2am story writing session. My story from the other day was about a convenience store hold up through the eyes of 2 customers and a cashier. Today’s was through the eye of the robber. I really liked this idea. Not quite finished but happy with what I have.
Hi, Lisa, how fun your story sounds to write! Thanks for sharing. Now I want to write from a whole bunch of characters’ POV’s, too.
Sorry, I thought of naming Ronny’s friend “Neil” when he was talking about the recent trends in some posh areas ..but I forgot!
I should have read it for a second time but I forgot!
My desire of posting/sharing got in the way and everything else I forgot!
Forgive me for the mistakes, thinking about my passion of writing.
Good day.
I’ve just finished re-writing yesterday’s story as per the demands of today’s prompt. Before anything,let me thank our host, Julie, for the prompt today. For I never tried rewriting a story this way before!
I’ve a feeling now that if I am trained like this, I’ll be a good writer for sure some day sooner.
Thank you, Julie. The credit is all yours.
Daddy’s Baby !!!
“That girl Tanya’s a bitch, I’m telling you,Ron. So, be careful.” Ronny’s mother told him as he was getting into his car. “And my cousin, Biplab is no hermit either. Very possessive, he nearly strangled a friend of mine when that friend asked my hand for a dance on my birthday bash….!”
“Don’t worry, Mom. You know I keep a safe distance unless someone tries to play games with me…” Ronny replied, looking at his reflection in the side-mirror of his Nissan before easing himself behind the wheel. He was pleased with what he had seen in the mirror. Jennifer would have to give up her boyfriend now. Thinking about Jenny, he thought about their last randezavo. He broke into a smile as he turned the engine key. It’s going to be a long, unending day, he thought to himself.
****************************************
The lift stopped on the 13th floor. He got out. Uncle Biplab’s apartment was the right. Ronny ambled across the corridor and pressed the calling bell.
No reply! He rang it again with the same result. It was 2.41 AM by his watch. He must have fallen asleep. Thinking like that, he kept ringing the bell till the door was opened. Uncle Biplab didn’t look very happy to see him at the door though his mother had informed him long before.
“You sit on the sofa while I get you something.” He said and hurried to the kitchen. Ronny felt upset as he didn’t come to their place because of his thirst or anything like that. His was like a social call, at the request of his mother. Relatives were getting to be fewer in number, she’d say. It was best to keep in touch with the few they had. But this was not how he expected Uncle Biplab to greet him. After all, the last time they met was during his thread-wearing ceremony. He couldn’t have been ore than 9 then!
While all those thoughts were going through his mind, he happened to see the framed photo of a girl in a blue sari.
“That must be her.” Ronny got up from the sofa for a closer look. She was a stunner, no doubt, with her hair worn in a bun with a garland of Jasmine around it. Large, dark eyes; graceful figure ( Surprising! Wasn’t she a volleyballer or something?), luscious lips and all that. But something started bothering Ronny as he took a closer look.
He had never met her. How come the face looked so familiar? Where did he see her before?
“I hate that dashing boy in his jeans and white shirt. He seems too smart for my taste.” Biplab thought to himself as he poured the juice into two glasses on the tray along with the cake on the plate.
The boy was not on the sofa when he came out with the tray. Having out it down on the tool, he looked around.
“Come on. I brought you some juice and snacks.”
Though Ronny had heard him proper and clear. He pretended not to have! He could have asked him about his preference in the first place. Biplab had to call out for a second time to get him back to the sofa.
Something is dreadfully wrong with the boy. It was as if he found it difficult to take his eyes off Tanaya! Sitting across from him, Ronny still kept looking at the photo.
Then he recollected. A few months back, one of his friends, the only son of a rich businessman in the city, told him about a new trend going on in some posh areas of Kol. Some college girls were earning a whopping amount, selling their bodies in their spare time in some reputed hotels. He even showed him a photo of a stunning looking chick at that time. Someone his friend had had a nice time with.
That face had temporarily set his mind on fire! My God! Tanya….
There was a knock on the door. Ronny just thought it proper to open it as Uncle Biplab was sitting further from the door.
She had to be Tanya.
“Hi, I’m Ronny.” Ronny put his hand forward as she came in. She was even better looking upclose, he couldn’t help admitting. He was still holding her hand when Ronny caught her looking at her father. Almost immediately there came a strange look in her eyes. Ronny could feel her body stiffen as she turned back to head to the room on the other side.
Just then he remembered. The girl in the photo had a mole above the upper lip on the right.
Ron had to find out. Stretching his arms out and grabbing sister Tanya’s shoulders, he stopped her.
“What’s the hurry, Sis? I’ve barely met you.”
She was smarter than Ronny believed she was as she looked back and told him something about being stinky and going up to the pool for a bath.
“There’s a swimming pool up on the roof? Wao! Mind showing me that?” It was hard to believe that there could be a swimming pool on the roof of a skyraiser in the heart of the city. She teased him then about his girlfriend in New Town.
How did she know about her? From Mom? Ronny was confused with all kinds of emotions going through his mind.
What did she tell him about having juice? There was something tempting in her tone! It was as if she was challenging him. Before he could think any further, she came out in a bikini with a kit slung over. She looked Ronny straight in the eye and extremely provocative.
Though Tanya had left the room but Ronny kept on looking at the door thinking of his last meeting with Jenny. She’d never think of seducing a man again!
When I caught her in the night club, She had a short, skinny skirt on, barely down to the knees. Her red lips, the pendant at the V of her neck with the top button of her shirt open – well almost everything about her spoke of passion, desire, lust.
Ron cornered her in the washroom and could have wrung her neck…..
Ronny was brought of his mood by Uncle Biplab saying something about New Town. Without bothering to reply, Ronny got up and in two steps was out of the apartment. If sister Tanya took him to be a mere toy, she still had a lot to learn.
Ronny was in such a foul mood that he wasn’t even in his senses as he climbed up to the 23rd floor and found himself opening the door to the roof. He wasn’t bothered about how she would feel about all this.
What did Neil say? The girl was a demon in bed. Barely out on the roof Ronny looked at the pool in the middle. On his left, there was a small wall, not more than a foot tall.
Just then he had this errie feeling that someone was close behind! He turned his head back. Just for a moment, he thought that someone moved aside. It was difficult to see anything in the dim light of the passageway. Thinking like that, Ronny focussed his attention on Tanya.
He had to teach that girl with a ravishing body that not all boys are to be played with. And then came the push from the side as he found himself flying over the wall and plunging down to eternity.
The end
Rathin, I’m probably way off, but does Ronny get what he deserves?
What do you think Ronny deserves, Valerie? The story is written from Ronny’s perspective, based on yesterday’s “The Loony – Who?”
Ronny is made to appear a criminal, a lecher, a monster in yesterdays while in this story, we get his version and come to know that Tanya, the daddy’s baby is not what her father or others make her out to be.
The end is the same in both the versions though. Ronny gets flung down to his death.
Stay safe.
I find myself perfectly okay with Ronny getting tossed off the roof.
Each reader is entitled to making her/his own opinion, Andy. And your opinion is appreciated and valued a lot.
Take care and keep smiling, writing and inspiring.
Hi, Rathin. Now that I’ve received so much help regarding understanding your story (what is wrong with me) I like it a lot. If this were real life and not fiction, I might be torn between Ronny getting tossed off the roof or not. Like has he done anything yet that deserves killing. HOWEVER, I’m perfectly fine with the other character in the story tossing him off the roof. Matter of fact, he needs to throw him off the roof in your story.
Thank you again, Valerie. The problem with me is that I am a Grade-B kind of writer and one needs outside help to make anything out of my story.
Now regarding ‘the other character’ as you put it, he happens to be the father. Someone called Biplab. If I get a chance to write another remake of the story, like a story from the daughter Tanya’s PoV, I might represent him as the maniac.
I called the story, “The Loony: Who?”, remember?
Keep critiquing and spreading happiness all around ( Do I sound a bit Big Brotherly here?)
Best wishes.