How To Get Feedback That Actually Helps Your Writing

(without getting discouraged or giving up)

You’ve been writing for a while now—maybe you’ve just taken part in the StoryADay Challenge and have a bunch of drafts—and it feels pretty good.

…but now what?

This is where you get to do what I call ‘refining’. 

You’re in the slippery, uncomfortable, yet important, middle part of the writing process: 

  • The thrill of discovery-writing is past
  • The satisfaction of the polished draft lies in the future.
  • And you’re in that foggy, no-man’s land of “how do I get there, from here?”

The good news is that ‘refining’, doesn’t mean you have to make anything perfect. Or do it alone.

Refining your work and your process is all about making progress—in your drafts and your practice. Which can be helped by getting feedback.

Let’s talk about how to do that without freezing…or fleeing!

Define: Refine

Refining isn’t about aiming for ‘perfect’: it’s about making progress, with purpose.

It means:

  • Taking a dispassionate look at your work
  • Making decisions about what stays and what can go
  • Setting appropriate expectations and setting up the processes that support them
  • Courageously taking the very next (possibly tiny) step with one piece of your writing.

The Fundamentals of Feedback

Some of our writing projects exist to teach us a single lesson and then remain in draft form forever. (I think of them like origami: beautiful and requiring effort, but ephemeral!)

Other stories—the ones you can’t let go—want to live on. We owe it to them to get some perspective…and that’s a hard thing to do alone.

That’s where critique comes it.

But not any old critique. You need the right sort of feedback, at the right point in your process, and from the right people.

The Wrong Time To Seek Feedback

Before you ask: yes, there are times when it’s perfectly fine for you to keep your writing secret and safe and only for you.

Don’t be pressured into sharing your writing if:

  • It’s incredibly personal and too raw to discuss (clue: if it makes you cry when talking about it. Nothing wrong with that, but it’s hard to hear dispassionate feedback when you’re still attached to the source materials)
  • You’re still in the honeymoon phase with this piece and aren’t ready to hear anything critical about it.
  • You’re still working on it and are worried that other people’s opinions might shape it more than you would care for.

These are all legitimate reasons NOT to seek critique and that’s fine. Keep working until you need something else.

How To Know When You’re Ready for Feedback

There’s a difference between being healthily-protective of your early work, and being over-protective of your tender creative’s heart.

Here are a few signs that you’re ready for feedback–even if the idea still scares you:

  • You feel stuck on a piece of writing. You’ve done everything you can think of and it’s still just not ‘right’ (this might be a feeling you have, or something you’ve heard from editors at publications  you’ve send it to).
  • You keep polishing the same parts over and over again even though you suspect there’s a raging plot hole in the middle.
  • You have no idea if your ideas are coming through or if some important parts are still stuck in your head. You need a reader’s perspective!

At this point, feedback is going to be the thing that propels you into the next level of your writing craft.

How to Get Feedback You Can Use (Without the Flop-Sweat!)

Just because something calls itself a ‘critique group’, doesn’t mean you’ll get what you need from it. Choose carefully and avoid getting discouraged or stalled.

1. Trust the Group

It helps if you can find a group that’s run by someone you already know and trust.

Ask the organizer about the level and experience of the writers in the group. Ideally, you want to find a group where people are a little more experienced/skilled than you, but not so far ahead that they’ll scoff at all your ‘beginner mistakes’. 

And for the love of all that’s literary, do not send your work in to an anonymous online group. Those places are either so complimentary that they waste your time or so brutal that you might never pick up a pen again.

2. Help The Readers Help You

If the group allows it (and I think it should), add a note to your piece letting folks know what you’re looking for, in their feedback. There’s no point in someone doing a heavy-duty copy-edit if you’re still in the first draft, or giving you general feelings if what you’re looking for a is a detailed, final check before you send it out for publication.

Include in your note these pieces of information

  • Where your piece is in your process (“It’s very much a first draft and I’m trying to see if it’s intriguing enough to pursue” or “I’m getting ready to send it to publications and want to know if the plot hangs together.”)
  • What kind of feedback you want (“Does the pacing work?” “When did you guess whodunnit?”, “Was the ending satisfying?”). If you’re new to critique it might be difficult to know what to ask, so feel free to say that!
  • What you don’t want to hear, yet. (“Don’t bother correcting the typos, I’ll get to them later”; “I know I haven’t included much description in this draft. I’ll add that once I’m sure the story works.”)

3. Ask Specific Questions

Again, this is hard to do if you don’t have much experience of critique, so here are some sample questions you might use, which are miles better than stuttering, “Um, is it any good?” or “What did you think?”

  • Were there any places where you were confused by what was happening? 
  • Were there any places you started to skim (i.e. got bored)
  • What lines or aspects did you really love (so I can be sure not to edit them out!)?
  • Which character stood out most to you?
  • Did I make any promises that I didn’t deliver on?
  • If you had to write a one-line summary of what was at the heart of this piece, what would you say?

Build A Feedback System

Growing as a writer means engaging with your writing in a deliberate way.

Don’t leave it to chance. 

Set up a repeatable process – a system – for giving and getting critique. Some ways to do that:

  • Join a group that has a regular (but not too frequent) critique option
  • Swap stories on a regular schedule with a trusted writing buddy
  • Try out a critique group on a one-off basis and see if it works for you (remembering that if it doesn’t, that doesn’t say anything about you as a writer. It just wasn’t the right group for you).

If you don’t have a way to get regular feedback yet, don’t worry, I have something that might interest you!

Join a Firm, Fair and Fun Critique Experience (right here at StoryADay)

Three times a year (no more, because we take it seriously!) I host a Critique Week with members of the StoryADay community, and the Superstars group. 

It’s a 10-day guided experience where we:

  • Exchange short stories or excerpts of a longer work-in-progress (up to 7,000 words)
  • Read three pieces each, and receive feedback from at least three other writers
  • Learn how to ask for (and implement) feedback that moves our writing forward.

We have writers who are publishing and writers who are just coming back to their craft after decades away. You don’t need to be at any particular stage in your writing, you just need to be curious and ready to refine. 

Registration for the next edition of Critique Week opens soon. 

We’d love to welcome you in—why not join the waitlist today?

Find Out More About Critique Week

(And if you’re worried you won’t have anything to say about the other writers’ work, don’t be! You simply need to be an enthusiastic reader. After all, that’s what all of us want: someone who cares about writing, to read it and let us know how it hits them.)

Refine Your Writing Life, Not Just Your Draft.

Remember: you don’t have to perfect anything, just keep moving forward.

But if you want to grow as a writer, stay close to the StoryADay community.

Keep going, beyond the challenge, and build a sustainable, joy-filled writing life, with us!

  • Keep writing
  • Keep refining
  • Keep surprising yourself.

You don’t have to do it alone.

Next Steps:

Join us for Critique Week – or make a different plan to get some feedback this month. Your future writing self is waiting to thank you!

Keep writing,

Julie

MORE RESOURCES

Listen to the podcast episode that inspired this article

Post Your Goals, Join the Movement

This is it! One day to go.

Today’s task: Post your StoryADay Challenge goals somewhere you’ll see them — in your journal, on your fridge, and share them with us in the comments, here.

Make them visible. Make them real.

List

And if you’re ready to go beyond just a month of stories…

Join us in the StoryADay Superstars Group open now, for:

  • Daily support & writing dates during May
  • Craft and mindset workshops, on-demand
  • Community accountability and support
  • Two Critique Week opportunities
  • And five more months of structure, support, and growth

Sign up today and write with confidence — not just in May, but all year long.

Let’s be honest: You could try to do it alone — again. But what if this was the year you stopped spinning your wheels and finally gained real traction in your writing life?

Superstars isn’t magic. But it does work.
Find out more and join today.

Discussion: What’s your goal for the challenge? Drop it below — and tell us how you want to feel when you reach it!

Let’s do this — and let’s do it together.

Write A Warm Up Story

Today’s a great day to write a warm-up story before StoryADay

Not on the list? Join for free here

Today’s prompt

Write a story inspired by this image

Edward Hopper, Cape Cod Morning, 1950, oil on canvas, 34 1/8 x 40 1/4 in. (86.7 x 102.3 cm.), Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Sara Roby Foundation, 1986.6.92
Edward Hopper, Cape Cod Morning, 1950, oil on canvas, 34 1/8 x 40 1/4 in. (86.7 x 102.3 cm.), Smithsonian American Art Museum, Gift of the Sara Roby Foundation, 1986.6.92

Remember: If you’re planning to write a LOT of stories this month, they’re going to be short, often Flash Fiction (fewer than 1000 words). That means your story’s scope has to be narrow but deep. 

You can’t tell the story of this person’s life, just the story of this moment. Everything else, you can hint at.

Warm Up – 5 minutes

Look around around your space and picking out details. Think about things you can see, touch, hear, smell, and yes, even taste.

Spend five minutes writing descriptions of several of those things. Try to find new ways to describe elements that have clichés attached to them: for example, don’t say “the computer fan purred like a kitten”, instead say something like “the white noise from my computer’s fan utterly failed to mask the sounds of my mother crashing around in the kitchen below.” (Or something better that comes from your unique brain and experiences).

Invite the reader into the sensation with your words.

Brainstorm – 5 minutes

This picture depicts a moment in this person’s life. 

  • What are they looking for (what do they desire)? 
  • What are they anticipating is about to happen and why? 
  • What will change for them if they gets what they want? 
  • How many thoughts will run through their mind as they looks out of this window?
  • What actions do they take to distract themselves from whatever it is they’re anticipating? 
  • What has already happened, before they lean forward to look out of the window?
  • What point of view and style of story will you choose to help readers inhabit this moment? A first-person stream of consciousness monologue? A slow, lyrical depiction of the moment? A more action driven scene that shows us all the things the main character does before, during and after this moment? A second-person reflection on what it is to wait or anticipate (“you stand at the window, bent at the waist, unaware of the dawn chorus in the long grass outside. All you can think about is…)

You can’t write about all of these things, but you can choose one, two or three and have them add up to a story (think of it like a puzzle for the reader to solve).

Discussion: How did you get on with your short story? How are you feeling now that the challenge is right around the corner?

🌟 Superstars Edge: You will hit bumps during the challenge. The difference is, the StoryADay Superstars writers have a place to land — to recover, to reset, to keep going. That’s why they finish. That’s why they grow. Join us!

Choose Your Challenge Vibe

Earlier this month I asked you to think about what kind of mood you like in stories 

Today I’m asking you to consider the mood, or ‘vibe’, you want to create during the challenge.

Are you aiming for:

  • Experimental?
  • Ambitious?
  • Playful?
  • Energized?
  • Confident?
  • Focused?
  • ‘Determinedly outrunning your perfectionism and getting something written’?

What do you want to feel on the 1st when you look back at your month?

Journal about it, and then post your target ‘vibe’ below in the comments. Let it set the tone every time you start a writing session).

Superstars Invitation: Want to guarantee you’ll finish the challenge with that feeling? StoryADay Superstars provides the scaffolding you need to keep your vibe high — and your stories flowing — long after the initial excitement fades. Then, we’ll spend the next five months building on that success to create a writing habit that fits your life today, not ‘some day’.

Set Up Your Log & Workspace

There are two halves to today’s tiny challenge, both designed to make it easier for you to get to work–and feel good about it–every day.

  1. Create a log to capture whatever you decided to track, yesterday
  2. Set up your workspace for the challenge

Create a Log

Depending on what you chose, and how your brain works, your log might look fancy or plain (it might even be a simple notebook page with a heading and a bunch of tally marks).

I created a new bundle of productivity logs and checklists for StoryADay May 2025. Download for free here.

checklists download image

Set Up Your Workspace

Take a moment to set up a digital folder or a notebook (physical or digital), or a three-ring binder, where you can keep all your materials related to StoryADay.

It might not seem important now, but a month from  now, when you are in a completely different place as a writer, you are going to thank Past-You for being kind and making it easy for you to find all the moments of brilliance and insight you racked up.

It doesn’t matter if you choose to write in Word, Google Docs, Scrivener, a notes app in your phone, or a specific notebook. Just choose.

Some days it may not be convenient to write in your preferred way. On those days, I recommend going to your ‘master file’ later, and writing yourself a note (e.g. “Wrote today’s story in my phone notes”). (You can find a sample master file in the downloadable bundle.)

Note: Last month I used a notation like that to find drafts from last May to revise for a contest!

What’s important is that you create easy access to writing time and writing records.

This tiny task helps you:

  • Remove barriers to getting started
  • Build your identity as a writer who shows up

Discussion: What’s your writing space like? Are you using a fancy journal, a Google Doc, a spreadsheet? Leave a comment and let us know!

The Superstars Advantage
The fastest way to get better at writing stories is to write more stories — and reflect on them with other writers. That’s what the StoryADay Superstars group was built for.
You could do it alone, but why make it harder than it needs to be?
Find out more

Superstars Strategy: You wouldn’t train for a marathon without a coach and a team. Superstars gives you the structure and encouragement that make showing up easier — and more joyful.